On the Importance of Personal Development

I have a history of putting the project above everything. I have called it a strong work ethic. Over the course of my software development career, I thought it had served me well. I’ve had descent success, good advancement, great experience, really good money, but not very much of a personal life. I had almost no social life, very few true friendships, dysfunctional relationships, almost no family connection, and mental and physical health problems. This was all my doing.

Operating this way caused me to experience severe depression. For several years I have been trying to deal with it. Over the course of this year it became nearly unmanageable, and I finally realized that I couldn’t ignore it any longer. The timing of this realization was unfortunate. I had to put this personal work above the team and the project at a critical time, and that cost me my job.

I took a month off and did my personal work. I found what I needed and am feeling much better. This is for anyone out there who finds themselves in a similar situation. You may find it difficult, but you must take care of yourself first. This is not to say that you should drop everything and run when things get tough. Recognize when you need time for yourself, work with your employer or clients to make room for that time, and take it. I will never again consider putting a professional project above vital personal development. The needs of the team are important, but not as important as getting my shit together.